Since starting this blog I have been debating with my “writing voice” over publicly admitting my failures, patting myself on the back for merely surviving, and having the audacity to calling it an art form. Certainly, no one wants to hear about that and no one is forcing me to do this, except that darn voice inside my head.
What am I trying to achieve here by being so candid???
Let’s face the facts. We all need help processing pain.
This past year, Mondays are usually riddled with guilt for me if I don’t have a calculated mission to fix my life that week. And Monday, January 11th was one of those days. By 10 am I said, “Screw it!” I hopped in the truck and drove 20-minutes into town for a hot coffee that someone else made and a Bluecorn Blueberry Lavendar Whoo’s Donut. The writer’s voice was typing while I drove. Tragedy. Tragedy. Tragedy. But I pushed on. I knew I could make it to Whole Foods. HeHe.
Whoo’s Donuts in Santa Fe New Mexico has started selling their donuts at Whole Foods throughout the southwest. Yes, this was a topic of discussion between my mother and myself. We were hoping they would eventually be sold in Wichita where I am currently living. Every trip to Santa Fe, which has been once a year at least for the past 5 years, includes a visit to Whoo’s Donuts. My mom has even shipped them back to us when she was living there part-time. And finally, my dream came true. Whole Foods in Wichita started carrying them.
And now, the very day I was going to get one, I found out they stopped carrying them. They weren’t selling. How could that be true??? They are magical. I had an in-depth conversation with the bakery team member who luckily shared my feelings. He asked the manager and found out they could special order them for me but I had to order 2 dozen.
I left with my coffee, which I was happy to have that at least and a small cinnamon roll from the bakery. And just so you know, the 400 calorie small cinnamon roll was good but not worth a drive to town!
Tragedy. Tragedy. Tragedy.
The next day I embarked on a “healthy lifestyle” to try and reboot my brain and slightly reduce the curves! So when the donuts arrived the following Wednesday I was already in low-calorie healthy mantra obsession mode. I read the nutrition label and recalled days where I may have eaten more than one of these babies! Back home, I started the process of saving these beauties from going stale while I continued on with my “healthy lifestyle”. And even though I hate single-use non-recyclable plastic, I vac-sealed these Blueberry Babies up and put them in the freezer. It felt like having money in the bank! Which I currently do not have, but that is a whole other topic.
A month later and we only have 6 left. And every time my 21-year-old goes to eat one, I just pull out Troy’s handy vac-seal contraption and re-seal the dwindling stash. My brain is flooded with reward neurotransmitters as I REUSE, REVAC, and RESEAL the bag without even eating one!
And since this blog revolves around failure and survival and me opening up about my journey, I will admit that I did eat two donuts over the past month. Luckily, they just weren’t as magical as the ones I ate with my mom in Santa Fe or the ones she lovingly shipped to us. Even so, I decided I should celebrate losing 10lbs while having 2 dozen Bluecorn Blueberry Lavendar Whoo’s Donuts in the freezer!